As certified sex therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar, MSW, LCSW-S, CST, tells mbg, when setting up your profile, you want to be as true to yourself as possible and know what you’re looking for from the get-go. “Get really clear, even before setting up a profile, of what you’re looking for—and you can even put exactly what you’re looking for on your profile, whether that’s a long-term relationship or you just want to go on dates,” she explains. In terms of what to include on your profile, she adds you can do a quick assessment of what’s important to you as an individual and within a relationship. Things like values, interests, and hobbies are great to work into your prompt responses, for example, because it helps people find things in common with you, opening up the door to conversation. And if you can add a touch of humor, Blaylock-Solar adds, all the better. When picking photos, choose ones that clearly showcase what you look like, she says. Group photos are OK, she notes, but if all you have is group photos, it can be hard for people to figure out which one is you. And remember: Honesty is the best policy. If someone doesn’t appreciate the fullness of who you are—they ain’t the one. As licensed clinical social worker Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, previously told mbg, “You don’t have time to waste sifting through mounds of overtures from subpar suitors. So, put the games aside and be honest and direct about who you are and what you’re looking for.” Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: Potential answers: “Get this—some of the most commented on questions of all time happen to be recent questions we added in over the last year about border control, climate change, feminism, political beliefs, and voting,” she told us recently. “We know these are topics our users care about.” You can, of course, go light with this one, but don’t be afraid to be honest about where you stand. As Blaylock-Solar tells mbg, it comes down to walking the line between reflecting who you really are and seeming approachable and genuine. Focus less on attracting as many people as you can and more on showcasing your true self so the right people can recognize what kind of person you are. To that end, she also adds to let go of any timeline pressures you’re putting on yourself, and try to be patient if things aren’t moving as “quickly” as you’d like—which brings us to our next point. Blaylock-Solar echoes this point, saying to avoid gauging your self-worth with the number of matches you get. Long story short? The apps can be a jungle, and it’s best to approach the whole swiping game with an air of detachment.
