Most people confuse feelings of jealousy with feelings of envy. The difference is, when you experience jealousy, you see a person or thing as an obstacle to you receiving love, attention, affection, etc. As compared to envy, you want to acquire something that another person has. Based on that definition, it is possible that if you’re feeling jealous, this may be an indication of a possible unmet and unsaid emotional need within your relationship. Here are four steps to deal with feeling jealous: Jealousy is a part of the wide range of emotions that humans will experience at some point in their life. Denying the fact that you are jealous can potentially set you on a cycle of constantly denying your feelings. Consider for a moment: What are some possible barriers to admitting that you’re jealous? The self-assessment can be as simple as asking yourself the following questions: By instead going to the person you’re in a relationship with and sharing your emotions, you’re building emotional intimacy and connection through vulnerability. Relaying the fact that you feel jealous and want to move past it sheds a light on those unsaid and unmet needs and allows the relationship to improve and heal through your transparency. If you’re out of practice, here’s an example of how you can get the conversation going: Note: While this message is a generic response, tone is everything and can change how your message is received. Try doing any of the following exercises: Known as “Your Favorite MFT,” Beverley is a leading expert in relationships for Black and Brown couples, encouraging collaboration on relationships, reinforcing intentionality when building romance, and influencing couples to navigate conflict resolution. She teaches Black and Brown women and couples how to dismantle and unpack narratives that no longer serve them, and she provides support and meaningful resources while debunking myths and societies’ ideas surrounding mental health services. As a champion of Black and Brown women, she also works with them to redefine having it all and creating the life they desire. From navigating boundaries to addressing relationship concerns, Beverley has a wealth of knowledge to share. When she is not supporting relationships, she is at home redefining having it all with her husband and fur baby, Sherlock.
