Some men feel that online dating is especially challenging for them, though, largely because they struggle to get as many interactions as they’d like. According to couples’ therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS, straight men “typically have to work significantly harder to find their match, where women have to often weed through the suitors to find their match.” Despite those challenges, dating apps can absolutely work for men with some patience and the right approach. According to James Harris, LPC, a therapist who specializes in men’s mental health, ultimately success on the apps often goes hand in hand with a hint of vulnerability and a little less flexing. For men, seeking out meaningful relationships is also a worthwhile investment: “Having a loving partner is incredibly important for men, as it can make them less prone to depression, anxiety, and/or feelings of loneliness,” says therapist Sara Tick, LMFT. Research shows1 that relationships can be an important part of a person’s overall well-being, for men just as much as women. To help make the process easier, we’ve rounded up the best dating apps for men to have the most success meeting interesting people and making connections. eharmony works well for men because their gender split is roughly 50/50, which means women aren’t overwhelmed by men sending them messages and are therefore more likely to respond. The site uses an in-depth questionnaire to match its users together, which helps take the guesswork out of dating. You’ll have to pay to access eharmony, with prices ranging from $12/month to $60/month depending on your location and the plan you choose (six months, a year, or two years). It’s steep, but the price ensures that everyone on the site is dedicated to looking for a real, long-term relationship. Plus, you can save 20% on any membership with code MBG20. (Here’s our full eHarmony review if you’re curious.) Whatever your identity is, OkCupid is based on answering tons of fun and thought-provoking questions that are then used to generate a compatibility score with other users. This helps to foster long-lasting bonds, as you can tell from the jump if someone’s values align with yours. The free version works fine for all your needs, but you can upgrade for even better features for $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months. All the features that you need to actually connect with someone need to be paid for, but you can sign up for free first to have a look around and decide if you want to continue to a subscription. You pay a lump sum of $25 for 12 months, $35 for six months, or $45 for three months. As a man, you will probably be expected to send the first message on Tinder, so brush up on something beyond “hey” and get swiping! The free version of Tinder gives you access to everything you need to make matches and communicate, but you can pay to upgrade to their more premium features for between $10 and $40/month. “Men that prefer casual sex can identify as such on their profile so they don’t have to feel shamed for wanting something no-strings-attached,” says relationship coach Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, Ph.D. “My clients have found success on Feeld because they’ve found others who are sexually open and explorative.” Feeld is free to download, and you can message people who you’ve matched with without subscribing. For a three-month subscription (approximately $30), you can get enhanced features such as being able to see who’s liked you or go incognito. You can sign up for Grindr Xtra or Grindr Unlimited to unlock a host of features, but honestly, you don’t really need to. Grindr boasts a 4.6/5 rating on the App Store, and one reviewer notes simply that “it gets the job done.” “It takes some of the cultural pressure off of being the ‘man who needs to pursue the woman.’ This is 2022, and a woman can do the initiating as easily as a man can,” says Zrenchik. “It also will only match you with someone who you know is interested in return, which can take some of the initial risk of rejection out of play.” Another Bumble feature is that matches are deleted if the first message isn’t sent within 24 hours, so it’s great for keeping time-wasting to a minimum. You’ll know from the start if someone is interested or not. You can pay to unlock more features on Bumble, but the free version does everything you need. Bumble currently boasts a 4.2/5 rating on the App Store, which is based on over a million reviews. It’s a multifaceted problem, says Zrenchik. “Some of the obstacles that men struggle with are unrealistic expectations of what they are looking for in someone, not spending enough time in managing their profile so it looks sloppy or uncared for, and inaccurate or misleading profiles.” Some vulnerability is also necessary for success on dating apps, says Harris, but it can be harder for men to access that vulnerability and ask for intimacy because they often feel stifled by traditional ideas of masculinity. “The skills that help you succeed at meeting and connecting with people in person are the same skills that help you find your perfect match online,” he adds.
