Importantly, using lube doesn’t mean your body isn’t functioning as it should. Sure, the vagina naturally creates its own lubrication, but there are tons of factors that contribute to producing less than usual or situations where you’d benefit from adding more. For example, menopause, aging, metabolism, hormonal changes, birth control, and the side effects of other medications all have the ability to affect your body’s natural lubrication levels and increase vaginal dryness. “While natural vaginal lubricant is produced during periods of arousal, people who menstruate often find that this amount of lubricant is insufficient for making sex as enjoyable as possible,” shares Jess Barra, FNP, nurse practitioner for sex and wellness site Favor. Even if you already produce plenty of natural lubrication during periods of arousal, you may want to keep some lube handy anyway—you’d be surprised how much more pleasure it can add to sex. Water-based lube also usually offers the most natural feeling, and it’s the more cost-effective option, adds sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, M.A., sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand & retailer. Try these expert picks: Although silicone-based lubes have the benefit of not absorbing as quickly into your skin, Barra notes that the downside is they can erode silicone sex toys. If you bring toys into the mix, she recommends a water-based pairing. If you’re in the moment and unsure, try Howard’s suggestion: Test it on a small area of your toy to make sure it doesn’t have a chemical reaction. Try these expert picks: Here’s one more reason to be careful with oil-based lubes: “Oil can stain your sheets, clothing, or expensive lingerie,” explains Angie Rowntree, founder of sex-positive and ethical porn site Sssh.com. Try these expert picks: Barra advises, however, to follow the same precautions you would for any water-, silicone-, or oil-based lube; no oil with condoms and silicone toys, and water may absorb faster. While some oil hybrids are condom-safe, always double-check the product to be sure. Try these expert picks: “Unfortunately, though, natural lubes often lack in the longevity department,” she warns. You’ll likely have to reapply frequently and maybe even use more than you think you need. Try these expert picks: Squirt a dab into your hand—something like the size of a dime—and spread it on the desired area. (If you prefer a warmer touch, warm the lube up by spreading it around on your fingertips first.) Add more as you get further along in your sexual play, and remember, you can always wipe off or easily wash away any excess. As you learn how your body responds to certain stimulation, knowing how much lube to use will get clearer. Rowntree recommends keeping a towel handy as you explore with lube, especially if you’re using an oil-based kind, which she notes can stain your sheets. Whether you prefer a directly-on-the-clit experience or no penetration, she says, “Lube can buffer some of that friction to keep your clitoris from feeling desensitized or overwhelmed.” “If you use a condom-friendly lube (i.e., water-based lube),” says Rowntree, “it can help prevent breakage and make condom use feel more pleasurable.” To enhance sensations, try adding a couple of drops of lube inside the condom or spreading a bit around the outside tip. Reapply as often as you need. While lube is a more obvious choice for penises, dildos, or anal beads, try applying some on your fingers or level up a rim job with flavored lube. Depending on the product, she says some lubes can desensitize penises and delay ejaculation. Others provide warming sensations that encourage “blood flow to all the right bits” and ensure the climax is even sweeter. Feel free to get generous with your lube while in water, whether you apply it to a vagina, penis, dildo, anus, or more. Apply a generous amount of lube to and between your breasts, lie on your back (or get on your knees if submissive sex play is your thing), push your boobs together, and let your partner kneel over you so they can glide in and out of the slippery alleyway you’ve created. Feel free to explore other positions to get more out of breast sex, and of course, use plenty of lube. The next big concern would be whether or not your lube is compatible with sex toys or condoms, says Howard. “Not everyone uses condoms [or] sex toys, but be mindful of what the lube is made out of when you’re switching between natural play and sex toy play.” She continues, “It’s probably not a good idea to use fractionated coconut oil to masturbate, then grab a sex toy to finish off the job without cleaning off the oil lube (with soap and water) and switching to water-based.” Even though oil-based lubes work well with non-silicone sex toys, water-based lube is the safest bet for both condom and sex toy use to prevent erosion or condom breakage. Stewart adds that “oil-based lubes take longer to clear out the body,” so it’s not recommended for you if you’re prone to bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, or frequent urinary tract infections. Remember that lube can help enhance your sexual pleasure, and it doesn’t at all mean that something is wrong with your body. Rowntree considers it the “ultimate sex-cessory,” and says your goody drawer isn’t whole without it. “For far too long, people have been led to believe that lube is something you only break out in the event of vaginal dryness or anal sex, and that’s just not true!” With this limited thinking, you can easily miss out on much stronger orgasms.
