They’ll reach out enough to give the other person an idea of what an authentic connection might look like, Ajjan says, but leave them hungry for more. To understand what it looks like, Ajjan and certified sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, M.S., share a few examples of breadcrumbing below. To figure out whether or not the person you’re talking to is serious, Ajjan suggests asking them out on a date. “Breadcrumbers tend to keep things distant on social media and other digital communication platforms,” she says. “If they can’t commit, keep it moving.” Tapping into your own self-worth can be hard, but it will help you realize that breadcrumbers aren’t worth your time. This will either lead to honest conversations and progress in the relationship, or it can prove that the person doesn’t take the relationship seriously. “Either way, you will have more information, and you can make a choice that is in your best interest,” she says. According to Ajjan, insecurity and loneliness can also lead someone to breadcrumb without realizing they’re doing it. These people need multiple “relationships” to boost their self-esteem. They tend to convince themselves they aren’t doing anything wrong. Worst of all are the people who purposefully breadcrumb to string others along. “They do this to feel relevant, to keep you from moving on, or to keep their options open,” Ajjan explains. Essentially, you’re being kept as a backup.
