As couples’ therapist, Lexx Brown-James, Ph.D., LMFT, explains, cuddling can be a way to initiate sex or practice aftercare after sex, or it can simply be a way for couples to bond with each other—thanks in part to the fact that the physical act of cuddling triggers the release of hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which create feelings of closeness. RELATED: The Physical Touch Love Language: What It Really Means Benefit: Holding hands can be both innocent and intimate. It’s easy to naturally slip out of, too, by just letting go to reach for a glass of water or something in your pocket. “The option of closeness with the option to create more space without making a big deal out of it is the key thing to look for in new relationship cuddling positions,” professional cuddlist Kassandra Brown tells mbg. Benefit: This position creates a sense of steadiness and connection between partners, says sexuality and emotional empowerment coach Shayla Tumbling, M.S., NCC. “It can be both comforting, reassuring, and intimate yet still allow space for some independence.” Benefit: The reassuring caress of the hand over the hair may offer a feeling of deep comfort, which can lead to an increased feeling of connection, Tumbling explains. Overall, “this position can create a sense of comfort, relaxation, and security,” she says. Benefit: Seated hugs can be more comfortable and sustainable than standing hugs, Brown says. Plus, they help cancel out height differences. Benefit: This position can allow the receiving partner (the one leaning back) to feel supported, cared for, and desired, Tumbling says. Simultaneously, it may allow the giving partner to feel confident in being able to provide support. “This is another position that may increase feelings of connection and vulnerability—and on multiple levels,” she says. Benefit: Similar to the lounge chair position, spooning can allow one partner to feel safe and the other partner to feel protective. “With your partner lying behind you, holding you, you get the feeling of being supported and cradled,” says Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. “It’s romantic because it gives you a feeling of unity and comfort.” Benefit: “Lying in the crook of your partner’s arm with your arm over their chest is very intimate,” Engle says. “You’re cradled and being held by someone, which can help foster feelings of love and closeness.” Benefit: This position can increase softness and connection with a partner, Tumbling says. “As we are resting on our partner’s chest, listening to their breathing, and feeling their heartbeats, we may be reminded of the sacredness of our humanity,” she says. Benefit: This creates a simultaneous flow of giving and receiving for each partner, Tumbling explains. “This may be beneficial for couples to engage in as they desire to increase intimacy or reconnection,” she says. “There is something very comforting about having my back completely held by someone I love and relaxing on the pillows,” she says. “As the small spoon, I usually have another pillow in front of me to make it more comfortable for my top shoulder and hip.” The most important thing when cuddling while sleeping is to make sure your arm doesn’t fall asleep, New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, M.D., tells mbg. “So in general, you’ll want to make contact with your partner below the waist but leave your upper body free so your arms won’t get pinned down.” This could look like intertwined legs or touching back-to-back. In response to the physical act of cuddling, the body releases hormones like oxytocin and dopamine that create feelings of closeness. “Oxytocin, often nicknamed the ‘cuddle hormone’ or ’love hormone,’ promotes feelings of wellness, pleasure, and overall happiness,” says Engle. “It is the main neurochemical that allows us to bond with other people, especially a new romantic partner.” Here are some of the many other benefits of cuddling: RELATED: 10 Benefits Of Spooning, Variations & The Sex Position Whether you’re at the start of a new relationship or have been with your partner for years, the physical act of cuddling can bring two people closer. Always be sure to check in with your partner’s wants and needs when it comes to physical intimacy and experiment to find out what works best for both of you.
