As for what inspires feelings of envy and jealousy, neurologist Ilene Ruhoy, M.D., Ph.D., says it comes down to how our brains are wired1. “It all depends on how the amygdala connects with areas of our brain that establish our values and our motivations,” she explains. “We understand more of where sadness, anger, and fear originate in the brain2, but jealousy and envy are complex in that the interplay between biochemistry, anatomy, and our environment within which we develop can dictate to what extent we feel either jealousy or envy.” “Negative emotions play a very important role in a happy life because they warn us that something needs to change,” she writes at Business Insider. “When we envy someone, it’s a sign that that person has something that we wish we had for ourselves. And that’s useful to know. When I was considering switching from law to writing, I noticed that when I read in my college magazine about people who had great law careers, I felt a mild interest; when I read about people who had great writing careers, I felt sick with envy. That was an important clue.” Theodore adds that the best thing you can do with feelings of jealousy and envy is use them as motivation. “It’s normal for people to feel both envy and jealousy from time to time,” she says. “But use them as motivation. Seeing your friend land their dream job might be the push you need to start your own job search. Feeling threatened by a rock-star new co-worker might motivate you to look for more opportunities to stand out at work.” It might be worth investing in a beautiful gratitude journal or simply meditating on things you’re grateful for. In addition to helping quell feelings of jealousy and envy, the benefits of gratitude on your health are plentiful. While striving for more is key to personal growth, being thankful for what you have is just as important.
