Fortunately, there are solutions to alleviate this pain or discomfort. To ease back into having sex that feels good, improve the experience at the OB/GYN, and help manage anxiety or fear around the pain, some health care providers will recommend vaginal dilators. Vaginal dilators increase the elasticity of the vagina and keep it from becoming too narrow, which can have a number of benefits. Here are just a few: Starting with a small vaginal dilator and gradually increasing the size can help relax the pelvic floor muscles and help people get used to the feeling of something inside them, gynecologist Lynley Durrett, M.D., says. Also, during menopause, the vaginal opening and the labia might get tighter because the skin loses elasticity. “For some people, it gets so tight, it’s really hard for them to have penetration,” Durrett says. “That’s where dilators can help.” That said, people who have frequent sex throughout menopause might not have as many issues with the tightening of the vagina and may not need a dilator, though they may still experience vaginal dryness and may benefit from solutions specific to that challenge. That said, you should avoid using the dilator daily since it could lead to irritation or bleeding. You can always consult with your OB/GYN to figure out if you need a vaginal dilator and how often you should be using it. According to Durrett, vaginal dilators are best cleaned with a mild, unscented soap (think anything that would be safe to use on the vulva) and warm water. Dry the dilator thoroughly after washing, and package it back up according to the instructions. (P.S.: You should be cleaning your sex toys regularly, too!) Whatever the cause of vaginal tightness, using a dilator (with the guidance of your OB/GYN) can help calm your anxieties and reduce pain associated with penetration.
