A study published in the journal BMJ Sexual and Reproductive Health questioned 2,825 people between ages 17 and 24 about their first sexual experience, including the nature of their relationship with the person they had their first sex with, both of their ages, and how much sexual experience their partner had. The researchers also asked about their socioeconomic status, their education level, family structure, ethnicity, and how and when they’d been taught about sex. Only those who met all four criteria were considered “sexually competent”—that is, ready to have sex—at the time they first did it. “The concept of ‘sexual competence’ represents an alternative approach to timing of first sexual intercourse, considering the contextual attributes of the event, rather than simply age at occurrence,” the researchers wrote in the paper. “This departs from the traditional framing of all sexual activity among teenagers as problematic, and recognises that young age alone does not threaten sexual health, any more than older age safeguards it.” Here are the four main criteria: More women than men felt their first sexual experience did not happen at the right time—40 percent versus 27 percent, respectively. This was the most commonly reported negative feature of first-time sex. Overall, 52 percent of women and about 44 percent of men weren’t deemed “ready for sex,” based on these criteria. There was indeed some correlation between age and sexual health, but 22 percent of women and 36 percent of men who’d had sex for the first time at a fairly young age—between ages 13 and 14—actually were deemed sexually competent nonetheless, at least according to these four factors. “Although age at first intercourse was associated with sexual competence, it did not explain all of the variability in sexual competence—at no age did the prevalence of sexual competence approach zero or 100 percent,” the researchers wrote. “This finding supports the proposition that chronological age may be an overly simplistic indicator of the nature of first intercourse.” Aside from the young, there were a few other groups of people who were more likely to be not ready for sex when they first had it—people who were less educated, those who grew up in economically depressed areas, and black women, for example. These factors point to deeper societal issues, whereas some others dealt more with interpersonal relationships. People who were in unstable relationships during their first sexual encounter, people who didn’t know their partner’s level of sexual experience at the time, and people who mostly got their sexual information from their friends also tended be less ready for sex according to the four criteria. As these findings show, being young doesn’t necessarily mean you’re automatically threatening your health by having sex, nor does being an adult mean you automatically know how to protect yourself. (For example, one survey last year found more than 65 percent of adults have had sex without a condom, and 29 percent said they have unprotected sex every single time. Yikes!) There are plenty of other psychological and contextual factors that go into determining whether someone is ready, and our instinct to view all sex between young people as dangerous misses the real point. The truth is, the “sexual competence” criteria laid out above are true for sex at any point in your life—whether it’s your first or umpteenth time doing it. The number is irrelevant; it’s the emotional capacity to make the right decision for your own and your partner’s well-being every time that really matters in the long run. Fratangelo is a former editor of Latina magazine, where she covered sex, women’s health, and relationships. She’s reported on everything from mental health research to celebrities’ favorite workouts. Her work has appeared in Revelist, POPSUGAR, Reader’s Digest, and more. When she’s not typing away at a coffee shop, you can find her running around Brooklyn or relaxing at the beach on the Jersey Shore.
