The No. 1 reason people fall out of love is because they’re human. Yes. We are designed to fall out of love. And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before. And then we fall out of love and back in love. You get the picture. Falling in and out love is as cyclical as the tides of the ocean. The problem generally arises when, at the first sign of falling out of love, someone jumps ship. While the first round of falling in love may be characterized by strong feelings of love, a desire to spend a lot of time together, butterflies, and even a feeling of ecstatic bliss, the subsequent rounds are usually much less exciting. If we knew to expect the eventual fall from grace that occurs with every couple in a committed relationship, we wouldn’t feel so shocked when it happens. But because we’re inundated with the Hollywood ideal of “happily ever after,” we subconsciously believe, even if we rationally know better, that the in-love feelings should last forever. The good news is that, once you fall out of love, you can begin the satisfying work of learning how to sustain real love, which in a healthy marriage or long-term partnership, grows over time. (And yes, you can even get that crush feeling on your spouse again with time.) And here’s the great and empowering secret that our cultural mythology keeps hidden: The best way to feel love is to give it. I’m not talking about a codependent relationship where your good feelings are dependent on making someone else happy. I’m talking about a real and true love that arises from a genuine desire to bring joy to your partner and offer support in the ways that feel loving to him or her. When you can reverse the conditioned mindset that love is something you get to the idea that love is something you give, miracles happen. RELATED: 15 Of The Best Ways To Show Gratitude To Others Once you can start to identify the ways that you shut down and protect, thereby barricading your heart behind an ironclad wall, the faster you’ll be able to soften that wall and move toward your partner once again. There is great power in realizing that we don’t have to wait for anyone else to change in order to feel love but that this longing can be met by our own actions. When you know the love laws and commit to putting the loving actions that open your heart into practice, you can sustain a lifetime of a loving, honest, satisfying relationship. It’s not always easy or fast work, but it’s work that is well worth the effort. For, in the end, all we really want is to feel love and be loved. Take time to understand the signs of falling out of love. Then, when you’re ready, here’s how to stop falling out of love and fall back in love with your partner. To receive a thorough relationship road map, check out her mbg video course, How to Have the Greatest Relationship of Your Life. And if you’re struggling with sexual desire and body image, consider her course Sacred Sexuality: A 40-Day Course for Women to Heal Body Shame and Ignite Desire.
